Tuesday, June 17, 2014


Joan Alamos,
Mexican movie star famosa,
at Sonora Film Festival 2005



To hear Joan Alamos giving you the real celebrity scoop, click PLAY on the SOUNDCLICK player.
Joan Alamos,
Mexican Movie Star Famosa,
at Sonora Film Festival 2005

Mira, Mira
This is what
you came for chicos!

videos of ME

the caliente stuff!

Here's a quick video hit !

Here's all the Joan Alamos anyone could possibly handle!

Hola again, it's me Joan Alamos, Mexican movie star famosa, and don't you forget it.

I've been killing time at
my beautiful home, Casa de Luz, in Alamos, Sonora, Mexico, which is far more luxurious than the Alamos birth place of my friend and rival estrella de pelicula, the once aging and now dead, God rest her soul, Maria Felix.

Lets face it, darlings: Maria's home is a dump. But my own fabulous Casa de Luz has become a national treasure that draws hundreds of pelegrinos every year, which is exactly the kind of thing this little dusty town needs as it is filled to the brim with damas sin caballeros which is a sure recipe for a lot of contract bridge if you know what I mean.

Pictures of my fabulosa home in Alamos, Mexico

my fabuloso gateway and entrance

my fabuloso portal and dining area

My idol Maria Felix

and the run down adobe home where Maria was born.

Unlike dear Maria, who had a very lucrative career in Mexican and French films, my own career has been a bit spotty because my producer/agent Justino Primavera is always sucking up the profits in Acapulco and Miami while chasing the chicas poquenas whenever the opportunity or whatever you want to call it rises in his pants.
In my own defense I must say that my over the top roles with Ramon Navarro, Robert Mitchum, and Burt Lancaster (who put the wood back in Hollywood) are classics that still set my lipstick on fire whenever I see them on TV, which is almost never thanks to the idiotic taste of that mustachioed Jane Fonda lover, Ted Turner, who prefers the films of that slack-mouthed housemaid Katy Jurado, despite the fact that I could beat both Katy and Jane Fonda in a 15 minute workout with both hands tied behind my back and a monkey on my head.

I was born in Brooklyn New York, but I am the issue of a one night stand my mother Norma had with Anthony Quinn in the infamous quarto 305 of the Reforma Hotel in Mexico City, or so she told me one day when I was a little girl and uneducated in the ways of mothers who go on vacation with the hots in their pants if you know what I mean.

What I need is some more starring roles or whatever pays real dineros, maybe hair shampoo infomercial like Cher did. I also need some new men in my life, and like the completely unwrinkled Cher, I'm beginning to prefer the younger ones who don't ask a lot of questions and always deliver the pizza on time.

Here I am rehearsing for my most recent role as
La Vampella
in my new animated movie,
La Reina de Los Fantasmas del Diablo
(The Queen of the Devil Ghosts)

check out this advance preview

Here is a video of my beautiful home in Alamos Mexico: Casa de Luz, which is currently on the market because I need the dinero, if you must know.

If you visit my home, click here for good places to eat as well as some videos on Alamos.

Hasta luego, amigos. My comments page is always open and I always write back, especially to the chicos malos..

all photos by justin spring
painting of alamos town square by cervando perez marquez
JS201GSS4@C ss1

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